


Field Medicine

by Tieleen



Category: Doctor Who, Leverage
Genre: Crossover, Female Doctor (Doctor Who), Future Doctor, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-02
Updated: 2012-01-02
Packaged: 2017-10-28 18:27:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/310837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tieleen/pseuds/Tieleen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Bgdhrfl tgzds," Hardison said emphatically. "Bgdrfl tgzds <i>kjsfd mrng</i>."</p><p>"I don't understand," Parker said, as if, Eliot thought sourly, this was somehow not a normal thing and Hardison actually <em>needed</em> several... alien spiny medical things... holding his mouth open to be incomprehensible to normal humans.</p><p>"'I hate you,'" the Doctor translated helpfully, poking at a glowing blobby thing on a nearby shelf with interest. "'I hate you so much.'"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Field Medicine

"Bgdhrfl tgzds," Hardison said emphatically. "Bgdrfl tgzds _kjsfd mrng_."

"I don't understand," Parker said, as if, Eliot thought sourly, this was somehow not a normal thing and Hardison actually _needed_ several... alien spiny medical things... holding his mouth open to be incomprehensible to normal humans.

"'I hate you,'" the Doctor translated helpfully, poking at a glowing blobby thing on a nearby shelf with interest. "'I hate you so much.'"

Eliot stared at her. "There is no way that's what he said."

The Doctor shrugged. "Kaluzartian anesthesia has strange effects on human facial muscles."

"This is pretty," Parker said, peering at the blobby glowing thing.

"No," the Doctor said, and Parker scowled but took a step back. Eliot really had to learn how the hell to do that.

The door behind them blinked open, and another blue little alien came in. Eliot could tell it was a new one because it had a violet sort-of-ribbon-thing that seemed to be wound around and into and _through_ its head.

Eliot really didn't like this planet.

"Doctor!" The little blue alien said warmly.

"Doctor!" the Doctor said, with just as much enthusiasm. "It's good to see you again. Your staff has been very helpful."

The -- doctor -- was already hovering around Hardison, who was staring (with the one eye he seemed able to hold open) at the way the ribbon thing was attached to the side of the blue head and presumably going all the way through. He looked pretty horrified, not that Eliot could blame him, but he was staying unusually quiet about it.

"Now, then," the doctor said busily. "What do we have here?"

"He fell," Parker said, in the monotone that had made inhabitants of ninety seven planets and counting infallibly suspicious even when she was telling the absolute truth.

This one actually seemed a lot more okay with taking her at her word, which was pretty bad timing on its part. "You _pushed_ him," Eliot said, "Down a _well_ ," just as Hardison, scary head mutilation forgotten and eyes wide, protested, "Dlkrt gjykpl!"

"He fell after I pushed him," Parker amended, clearly not thinking that changed things very much. "We were running away from the police," she added after a second's thought. "We're usually better at that."

Eliot couldn't really say he agreed with that assessment, but he had more urgent things to worry about just then.

The little alien was looking at the Doctor with mild curiosity. "'Police'?"

"A type of rodent," the Doctor said, not batting an eye. "It got into my ship. Very ferocious."

"Ah," the doctor said, clearly bewildered, and went back to peering into Hardison's ear while Eliot unobtrusively wrestled Parker out of the room, hand firmly planted on her mouth.

The door closed behind them on the alien touching a small green tentacle to Hardison's front teeth. Hardison gabbled something Eliot couldn't even begin to make out, but was betting had 'get your hands _off me_ ' somewhere in there.

Eliot had dealt with plenty of concussions before, and while this one was just about bad enough that Hardison's insistence on seeing a doctor about it made some sense, he hadn't really worried about it until now.

"Well, I don't know," the Doctor said thoughtfully from behind the door. "Don't you think he'll need that?"

Eliot and Parker stared at each other for a moment. Then Eliot realized it was only him staring, and Parker was really looking over his shoulder, to where the paintings on the wall were flickering and changing patterns.

" _No_ ," he told her, just on the off-chance it would do some good, and then, with even less hope, "Just... stay right here and don't talk to anyone."

She was already moving towards the pictures by the time he made the one step he needed to open the door again, but Eliot figured he could worry about rescuing her from whatever she managed to get herself into once he was done rescuing Hardison.


End file.
